Part 7: Create a Conflict Code Word

Tip: Choose a safe word or phrase to pause a tense moment.

Sometimes, in the heat of a disagreement, things escalate too fast. That’s where a conflict code word comes in. It’s a pre-agreed phrase either of you can use to pause the conversation and cool down.

It could be light-hearted like “pineapple,” or sincere like “reset.” When one partner uses it, the other agrees to take a breather—no questions asked.

Come back to the issue when you’re both calm and regulated. This strategy helps prevent reactive words you’ll regret and builds emotional maturity in the relationship.

For engaged and married couples, it’s especially valuable during stressful seasons or big life transitions.